GodisGood – LifeSucks

Turn away...

I need to sin… What happened to the friend who would put a foot in our ass when we started going the wrong way? I think we often get headed in the wrong direction without realizing it, and I really rely upon my friends to let me know.

There are many slippery slopes to slide down, and in today’s society of “live and let live” we need friends and mentors with the will power to step up and lend a foot or hand, depending. I have been the recipient and the dispenser of this type of action, and I do realize it is often embarrassing to be on either end… but it is needed.

Others may disagree, but I love to be around crotchety old men who tell it like it is. I need these people. They are becoming more of a oddity than the norm and that is sad.

If someone can’t say to you that you are being stupid or that you are doing something wrong without taking offense before you consider if it is true, then you should pause and think about it. An old man once said to me, “There is a bit of truth in every correction whether you like the person saying it or not. It just depends on whether you can put aside your feelings and dig for it.”

On the comments of one of my previous blogs a comment rang true with this sentiment… “its funny how people mince, mix and spin words – me included – in order to defend actions they know are far from Christ-like. Sounds like “if it feels good then do it” allows folks to continue to do it rather then examine what they are doing and perhaps just simply stop doing it.” That comment was directed at me and he was right… partially…I dug for it.

So if you are watching a friend walk in a direction they shouldn’t, then speak up. And if not now, then later. They will appreciate it. It may be a lot later, but that is fine.

Pink…

Just a short blog this time but a very important question. Who said that it was ok to wear pink for guys? I often hear it looks good on you or it shows security as a man to wear that. What a load of crap. It is not MORE manly to wear girls colors. Seriously! If you want to be more masculine try doing it with something other than your clothing.

Guys if you are the one saying these things in response to the questions from other guys then you need to realize that we all know that you are repeating something you have heard either from a girl, read in a girls magazine, or you have just lost your sense of masculinity.

I have never once in my life thought to myself “he must be really secure to wear that pink shirt” or “wow how masculine”. I have worn a pink shirt before and used some of those lines to defend myself. I sure wish there was some old dude there to say “what the hell are you wearing?” then laugh at me as he picks that old gnarled calluses from his palms.

So here it is guys… STOP WEARING GIRLS COLORS!

Do you know…

What is acceptable? I often look around at the actions of friends and strangers alike around me. Often it is their kids that I am watching, but whichever it is I often ask myself this question…what makes them think that is ok?

Often this question occurs after I witness something that is out of the ordinary, at least in my world, and everyone’s reaction, including the parents, is often to just laugh it off or ignore it. I am talking about something that is considered rude such as a child hitting either you or another person in crotch or a child hitting their mother because they are mad. Of course there is also that language that some children use in the regards to their parents or other adults that tends to get my attention.

I have often wondered how we arrived at the point where we no longer bother to give instruction or correction to our children or the children of our friends. The only time you really see someone giving guidance to another persons child or one of their family is when they are a grandparent. It is actually accepted by most of us that older people are expected to speak up and make corrections. I actually enjoy this most of the time.

How often do you see an older person being spoken to rudely by children or being hit by them? I would wager to say it is not very often. Why is that? Because as parents we would be apalled to have our child do something like that. It breaks all the rules of respect that we as adults know. It is almost like the holy grail of etiquette blunders.

How did we come about this knowledge about how to treat our elders? They taught us how we were supposed to act when we were children. I knew as a child that to mistreat an adult would bring the verbal and physical wrath of my father and it was to be feared. And heaven forbid I was to do this inside a store with my mother…talk about a humiliating experience. It was instant correction and it was in front of everyone.

My parents took the time to teach me the wrongs and rights of life. One of the most important things I learned in life was my place in the family. I was a child and I knew it. Not because I was disregarded but because my parents knew what were proper actions and language in regards to other adults and they told me what the rules were.

When I failed to live up to these standards I knew it and so did everyone around me. Discipline was on the spot and it usually included an apology on my part and it was often a tearful one. Embarrassment is a strong tool and quite effective when it comes to kids. I don’t know if my parents were embarrassed when the corrected me but I am pretty sure they didn’t care that much about how it looked.

I guess one of my questions is who lowered the standards? At what point did the higher standards of parenting become passe and we started to look the other way so much of the time? While good parenting often includes the words “I love you” and “you’re great” it should also include the words “no”, “stop that”, and “that is not acceptable”.

Think about this…

If you say “no” and your child asks you why can you answer them?

If you say “stop that” and your child asks you why can answer them?

If you say “that is not acceptable” and your child asks you why can you answer them?

Can you take those questions as teaching moments and give a valid answer? There are a lot of moments to teach your children when these questions come up. Are you in the habit of saying no, stop that, and that is not acceptable to yourself? Self indulgence is a trait we can pass along to our children.

Start practicing on yourself and when it comes time to answer your child’s question of why you will be familiar with the reason and be able to articulate it to them what you believe and have accepted in your life.

Oh yeah and next time your child acts up in public the truth is everyone IS watching you to see if you can parent. Do yourself a favor and give us something to cheer about. On the occasions that I have seen a parent successfully embarrass/correct their children with words are even a good swat to the hind end I have said “damn right” under my breath…

Prayer today…

I asked myself a question today… when did prayer become a thing that I used? By used I mean when it went from a conversation with God to a thing that I had to have a reason to talk to Him about. I talk to my friends for no real reason, pretty much just because I like them.

As I look back I realize there must be a moment that prayer became a thing I studied and had to learn about instead of something I do for no real reason other than I want to.

There are a ton of books to help me “how” to pray and just a many to tell me why my prayers are not answered. Most often I agree with the points made by the authors and I enjoy hearing about successful prayers in the stories they tell. I even get choked up when I read them.

I don’t want to make a declaration because I have made so many of those that I have realized they are only something to make me feel good for a moment. So instead of a declaration I am just going to start praying again in a way that says to my God… I like you.

I love God but I also want to like Him.

Brimstone…

What happened to the day when the preacher would kick the crap out of you on Sunday morning? Hellfire and brimstone would rain from the heavens directly into the pew burning our conscious to ashes. Oh how I miss the good old days.

Week after week I sit in the pew/chair at my church and listen to how God made me to be happy and how I have all this power on tap for when I need it. How when struggles come I just need to call on God and He will answer. Need money just pray. Need happiness just pray. Need healing just pray. Sounds like a bumper sticker doesn’t it?

How come preachers are often unwilling to stand in the pulpit and correct us? I don’t mean the good intentioned you should “try” to correct this path. I mean the ‘you are going to hell if you continue this path’ stuff. Of course those of you who think that ‘once saved always saved’ is written is stone would crap your pants if he said that and then leave the church but honestly I miss it.

I could often use a swift kick in the pants in relation to my salvation. I become stagnant or just lazy at times in my pursuit of God and maybe a good old “stop doing that crap” from my preacher would help get the waters moving again. Am I the only one who doesn’t believe everyone in church is going to heaven?

It took me the longest time to figure out that the majority of people are just hoping that Matthew 7:22-23 ‘On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ does not apply to them.

So often I think of this scripture not out of fear but out of intrigue. I don’t think of myself as a holy person and I certainly have not prophesied or cast any demons out (see my earlier blog) which in the majority of peoples opinions is reaching the pinnacle of possessing God’s power. At some point the Holy Spirit helped me with this scripture and a few other ones to realize that yes I am going to sin and yes I am going to fail, sometime miserably but as long as I pursue God for relationship then I will not have to worry about the above scripture.

Anyway… back to the main point… how many people know of these verses and the dim picture they project? Even more so who wants someone to preach on these verses? I do! If you look at the exodus from the modern church you have to realize that not everyone is buying the happy train story that is being pitched to us. Someone has to be there to tell us the stove is hot or that having a BB gun war is stupid. Someone has to tell us and it may as well be the preacher.

So Preacher, get on with it, make me feel better some other time. I just want to have some direction on what I am not supposed to do and not on what I am gifted to do…

Spiritual Warfare…

Who is telling the truth in the arguement about spiritual warfare? It is pretty straight forward in the bible. It exists and we should be prepared. I don’t doubt that in any context but the thing I do doubt is how we are supposed to act.

It varies from denomination to denomination and even from church to church inside of those denominations. I grow tired of trying to figure it out and most often I end up dismissing everyone’s idea of what spiritual warfare is.

Often Ephesians 6:10-20 is quoted as the “Exhortations for Spiritual Warfare”, the go to guide on what it looks like. How do we get so many different interpretations from this scripture? The thing that stands out to me most in that set of scriptures is that it seems we are being encourage to pick up the sword and armor to protect ourselves. Not to rush headlong into the fray.

Honestly, who has run across a demon possessed man and a herd of pigs nearby that you can cast the demon into? Yet we often hear that story used in an example of how much power we have in the name of Christ. Jeez people did you not also read the story of how some Christians were beaten and stripped naked because they failed to cast a demon out? I will pass, I only want to be naked in my house.

At church the other day I heard a man giving testimony of driving demons out of his son. I was fascinated for several reasons and I will only give one here. He used the statement “And we cast the demon of Pharmacia out of him”. I am assuming this was a drug addiction problem he was speaking of but when did we start naming demons and giving them a category or job title? It made my stomach knot because it reminded me of my early days in a Pentacostal church. I often worry that I am being ignorant but I just can’t buy into special names or jobs for demons.

Truthfully I think ignoring the presence of spiritual warfare is worse than misnaming it but I still struggle with recognizing the middle ground. I do believe if you are getting stomped on everyday by your circumstances and you are a Christian then you might want to open your eyes and look into scripture and pray about it.

Which leads me to my opinion albeit a short one. Ephesians 6:10-20 simply tells me to put on my armor, pick up my sword and shield and defend myself. It seems the word “stand” is used quite a bit in those verses and most often that is where I am at, barely standing. I prefere to talk to God more often than to Satan and his demons so I will ask God to take care of the attacking part. In my heart I know I will find my way because I am seeking His guidance, but people sure know how to talk us into doing stupid things.

So don’t ask me to stand in front of the church and pray a demon out of someone. I don’t want to be left standing in front of the church naked and you don’t want to see it.

Afrikaan Prayer…

I was recently blessed by praying with my daughter. I often do not enjoy praying in groups because I feel we (including myself) tend to pray about things that we think will make others feel better or we will simply change our words to a more flowery version so others will not think we are bumbling prayer idiots.

I am a self professed bumbling prayer idiot. I often have no idea what to pray for and can seldom keep up with the pace of others in a group prayer situation. Especially when there is always that one person that will pray for everything. Not just a few things but EVERYTHING! I am often left with the odd situation of remaining quite or just saying “pass” when it is my turn because I can’t think of anything. I feel like a heathen non praying idiot, which on occasion I am, that has nothing to pray about.

Well, enough of that rant (blog soon to come), I want to talk about a simple blessing that God provided. I was sitting with my daughter and felt the need/desire to pray. Not the prayer list type of prayer but just the rambling whatever comes to your mind prayer. It is the best type of prayer for me since I don’t have to think about what I am talking about and I don’t have to worry about what I say. You know, the “I am just talking to dad” prayer.

I asked my daughter if she minded if I prayed and she said no she didn’t. I am not sure what I would say if she rejected the idea. I started and a few words in she interrupted me and asked if we could pray together the way the Afrikaan’s do. She explained to that it is when everyone prays together and out loud at the same time. I agreed.

We prayed for about fifteen minutes and it was wonderful. I have no idea what she prayed about but I was able for the first time in a long long time to pray in a group with all my hesitations, poorly worded sentences, and sometimes embarrassing subjects. I hope she didn’t hear those or if she did I hope I was mumbling at the time.

So thank you God for a moment with You and my daughter. It was a “God is Good” moment and I love you for it.

Cash or Card…

I recently wrote about finding hope in a bowl of Cheerios but there is a side story that was going on at the same time. I did not realize that it was of at least the same significance as my lesson about hope. It was only till later when I had been employed for a while that I was able to look back on that time with hindsight.

During the time of my looking for a job and my struggles with God I concentrated on how I was not able to provide for my family. What I did not notice was that we were never in need of anything during this time. As I look back I realize what was bothering me was not that we weren’t being provided for but that it wasn’t me doing the providing.

My pride was hurt and I was blinded by it. I suffered long and hard with feeling like a failure. Yet apparently I was the only one that thought I was failing. We never announced our needs other than to ask for a job and people did not act any different towards my family or me as I conjured up in my mind that they would.

In fact I was being loved dearly by my God and my church family. During this 10 month period of unemployment we would weekly get gift cards in our mailbox and there would be small amounts of cash in our church mailbox. Always enough to provide food and essentials for my family and I.

The best part about the provision during that time was that to this day I do not know who provided the money and gift cards. Never even a hint about it from anyone. I could only thank God and wonder about who it was. As I look back today I realize it was God subtly teaching me a lesson about provision. I will never have to worry about being left out in the cold as I was as a child. I can rely upon my God and I will rely upon Him.

In looking back on those 10 months I realize how often God was listening and taking care of me. I still won’t call it a joyful time but I will say it was a time that God packed in a lot of lessons in a short amount of time.

Cheerios…

Is it possible to learn hope or is it something we are supposed to just get when we are first saved? It seems that we have all heard quotes about what faith is but how many of us really know what it is?

In my experience it was something I learned after years of thinking I understood what it was. It was something that became tangible over one bowl of Cheerios.

My family had been going through a tough time after I decided to leave the Coast Guard and strike out into the civilian workforce. I had it all planned out and to my surprise it was not working out. I was jobless for 10 months and it seemed that no one wanted me and not even God was listening.

I had grown weary of pleading with God day after day and while my family never complained I was feeling less and less of a provider and leader of my family. My pride was slowly being crushed under the weight of failure.

One day I decided that I had enough of God not listening and not caring about my prayers or needs. I needed a job and He was failing miserably in answering this one simple prayer. So it was time to get serious with God!

We were staying in a friends basement and doing labor around the place for our rent. It was out in the country a little ways and there was a large backyard the led to some woods at the edge of the property. I headed out there to have a talk with God about what I needed and to talk tough with Him.

It began as a simple prayer but as I continued to try and talk with God I became angrier and angrier with Him. In the end I was swearing and cursing and giving my final ultimatum. If He did not provide a job the very next day He would no longer be MY God. I would reject Him and do things on my own.

Guess what? No Job. I was actually surprised. Did God not know I was serious? I headed back out to the woods and told God I was done. I no longer wanted Him and I had enough. I felt great and was so relieved that I no longer had to rely upon a failing God. I headed back into the house and looked forward to my new life without God.

I woke up the next morning and to my surprise felt no different than any other day. I have no idea what I expected to feel like but it wasn’t anything special. I sat down to breakfast and my wife placed a bowl of Cheerios in front of me like other mornings and I bent my head to pray.

It was at that moment I realized what having no hope felt like. It was terrifying. I was alone and my family was alone. I had no God to pray to or to rely on. I realized that I was just tired of waiting on God but that deep down I had hope that He would take care of my family and me.

I jumped up and ran across the back yard to the woods to the very same place that I had cursed God and abandoned Him and fell to my knees. I was full and sorrow and wept while trying to explain myself to God. I was sorry and wanted nothing more than to be with Him and talk with Him.

I learned what hope was over a bowl of Cheerios or more likely I learned what having no hope was over a bowl of Cheerios. I learned a truth that still stays with me to this day. I think daily about hope and therefore I thank my God daily for it.

God must have actually been listening to my cries for help because two weeks later I landed a good job at a technology company.

Converse…

My oldest brother purchased me a pair of Converse running shoes when I was 10yrs old. They were blue with a red logo on the side of them. To a 10yr old kid these shoes were to be cherished and shown off to all of my friends.

I had these shoes for about 3 weeks when one day it had began to rain, not heavy at first, so I rushed to get inside and in doing that I cut across our front yard since it was the shortest path to the front porch. I was pretty much successful in not getting my shoes wet.

Once inside my brother, who had purchased the shoes, noticed that the front of the shoes were wet and had some grass on the tips from cutting through the front yard. He told me to take them off and give them to him. I was a little worried that he would be upset but thought I was just going to get a “talking” to.

He inspected the shoes and noticed the grass on the shoes and wanted me to see it up close. He held the shoe in front of me and told to look closely at how the tips of the shoes were getting ruined because of my stupidity. I looked closer.

What happened next has affected my life ever since. As I looked closer he hit me in the mouth with the part of the shoe that had grass on it and then threw it at me while screaming about how stupid I was and that he would never buy me anything again. Bleeding from my lip and tears running down my face I apologized and took my once prized possession which had quickly gone from being prized to something I was unworthy of and was a thing to be feared.

The other day I was talking with my daughter and the discussion came up about not walking on the grass. While I don’t really care if anyone else walks on the grass, I have an aversion to it. I try not to do it and will walk several feet out of the way if needed. She found this interesting and so we discussed the why and how of it which leads to this blog.

Though this blog is not about getting a split lip or an aversion to not walking on the proper path it does bring to light how we develop certain odd habits and quirks that we carry with us from our childhoods. I am sure we all recognize these things in ourselves and we can often look back into our childhood and see what the events were that affected us.

I often look around me and try to see if I am creating these events in those that are close to me. I check to make sure that my wife and daughters don’t avoid certain things with me, whether they be conversations or daily interactions. I am a little sad to say I can see some things that I have done that have “trained” them in how to act around me but for the most part I am caring and watchful of my actions.

We can often teach our families around us to not ask certain questions by our reactions or to not attempt certain feats, whether they be adventurous one or ones they just don’t have the skill for, because of our reactions in the aftermath of a failure. Words such as “I told you so” or “You should know better” are often our training tools as adults and parents.

Take a look around and see if your kids don’t wear Converse tennis shoes or walk on the grass so to speak. I certainly don’t have any Converse running shoes nor do I stray from the proper path. I learned a lesson a long time ago… and it is a tough one to forget. My family has it own oddities but most of them are self inflicted ones…:-)

Lin

Search Blog

Stats