I recently wrote about finding hope in a bowl of Cheerios but there is a side story that was going on at the same time. I did not realize that it was of at least the same significance as my lesson about hope. It was only till later when I had been employed for a while that I was able to look back on that time with hindsight.
During the time of my looking for a job and my struggles with God I concentrated on how I was not able to provide for my family. What I did not notice was that we were never in need of anything during this time. As I look back I realize what was bothering me was not that we weren’t being provided for but that it wasn’t me doing the providing.
My pride was hurt and I was blinded by it. I suffered long and hard with feeling like a failure. Yet apparently I was the only one that thought I was failing. We never announced our needs other than to ask for a job and people did not act any different towards my family or me as I conjured up in my mind that they would.
In fact I was being loved dearly by my God and my church family. During this 10 month period of unemployment we would weekly get gift cards in our mailbox and there would be small amounts of cash in our church mailbox. Always enough to provide food and essentials for my family and I.
The best part about the provision during that time was that to this day I do not know who provided the money and gift cards. Never even a hint about it from anyone. I could only thank God and wonder about who it was. As I look back today I realize it was God subtly teaching me a lesson about provision. I will never have to worry about being left out in the cold as I was as a child. I can rely upon my God and I will rely upon Him.
In looking back on those 10 months I realize how often God was listening and taking care of me. I still won’t call it a joyful time but I will say it was a time that God packed in a lot of lessons in a short amount of time.
I can only hope the same holds true for me as my position at work was just eliminated today. I feel like a complete failure in life and only my kids seem to provide any motivation to even want to keep going. Everyone else but them have failed me in this lifetime, so tell me again how God shows that He’s working in our lives???
I am sorry you job was eliminated and can only hope my story above is of some comfort to you.
I think we differ on how we look at friends and what our expectations of them are. I enjoy laughter and bantering about stupid subjects over a beer and a cigar but there are only two or three that could fail me. All my other friends are just that – friends. They come and go and I am fine with either.
I have heard you talk about your kids in a couple of posts but not much about your wife. I realize everyone is different but my best friend is my wife and if every other friend walked away I would survive. It is a lot of work to keep her my best friend because she knows all the crap about me but it is worth it.
I think this is the “Life Sucks” part right now and I am looking forward to the “God is Good” part for you.